Posted By • May 9th, 2016

Right now, Gender Warriors from coast to coast are having a meltdown over the first episode of the second season of “I Am Cait.” In this episode, Caitlyn Jenner is heard once again declaring herself a “conservative” and assuring the other transgender ladies on the bus that “conservatives fully support all transgender rights.” (It is particularly amusing that Caitlyn says this in the presence of Kate Bornstein, who has spent literally decades fighting Conservative Republicans trying to oppress and disenfranchise transgender men and women.)

But nevertheless, Caitlyn goes on to express her admiration for Ted Cruz and her devotion to bedrock Republican positions regarding the size of the Federal Government (too damn big!), the deficit (out of control!), and welfare payments to the less fortunate (entirely too generous!). Upon being pressed to justify her opinions, Caitlyn refuses to get into any more detailed discussion, saying “Don’t go there!”

Now, I have to honestly confess that I found the other transgender ladies on the bus to be truly touching in their naiveté. They reacted with outrage and alarm to what Caitlyn had said. The spokesperson for the group – Jenny Boylan – did her best to confront Caitlyn, though it was obvious Jenny would far rather have simply jumped onto Caitlyn’s back and strangled her in a Death Grip of Righteous Transgender Anger and Retribution.

Like I said, the reaction of the other ladies on the bus was nothing less than laughable. All of them totally failed to grasp – or correctly react to – the true dynamic of what was enfolding before them. In particular, I fault Jenny, for one reason – a reason which should be all too familiar to any parent who once raised small children.

Supposing that you have a young daughter who says to you, “Mommy, I want to be a ballerina when I grow up” (and that child is neither athletic nor coordinated), a wise parent will simply respond, “Yes, that’s nice, dear. If you work hard and practice every day, you can be whatever you want.”

Because a parent does not expect sophisticated or mature analysis from a 7 year old. But considering how well the ladies on that bus know Caitlyn, they should have figured out by now that Caitlyn – for all her fame – is not a person possessed of any deep or profound insight into anything in this world (though she is getting better at applying eyeshadow).

So when Caitlyn offers her opinion regarding Conservative Republicans, we (if we remember when our children were young) will simply smile our most loving, self-indulgent smile and tell her, “Yes, Caitlyn, it’s so sweet of you to have so much faith in Evangelical Republicans. I’m sure they love you just as much.”

So you see how childishly naïve the ladies were to take anything Caitlyn said at face value.

Did you forget that Caitlyn has the phone numbers of all of the Kardashians in her iPhone? Did it not occur to you that Caitlyn is far more interested in boosting the ratings of her show – and winning yet another renewal from the network – than she is in entering into any honest, nuanced discussion of the transphobic policies of the Republicans?

I want to ask those transgender ladies on the bus this question: Back when you were living your life as a male – did you ever patronize an actual, real-life whore? And if you did, did you believe her when she told you she was attracted to you, and (afterwards) that you were better than any other guy she had ever been with, and that you gave her an orgasm? I assume you did not, because no one goes to a whore to hear “the truth.” We go to them because they give us the fantasy we want and need.

Here’s the bottom line: When you get into bed (or onto a bus) with a World-Class Media Whore, you must continually remind yourself that nothing she says can be taken at face value. She has a “transgender agenda,” but that agenda is only concerned with one single transgender woman – herself.

In fact, she admitted – during this episode – that her “I Am Cait” show, itself, is just a stepping stone to something even bigger!  She said she wanted to be appointed as Ted Cruz’s “ambassador” to the transgender community!

So that she – “Expert on Living a Transgender Life” that she is – could be granted by President Cruz the power to establish all the policies of his administration as they relate to transgender men and women.

Because for Caitlyn, this would be even better than seeing her little reality show renewed for another season. Think of it… Caitlyn an advisor to the President of the United States! Maybe she could be appointed…“Secretary of Transsexuals!”

This… the most satisfying wet dream any Media Whore could ever have: Caitlyn Jenner… trusted advisor to President Ted Cruz, and Whore of All Media!